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When I ask men about sexual fantasies, most of them have some version of wanting to have sex with more than one woman at a time. The idea of a threesome is very attractive and usually, they want it with women who are into each other. When I talk to them about the idea of bisexual women, they usually see an opportunity for a threesome. There seems to be clear misunderstandings as to what it means to be bisexual and it can cause unnecessary conflict in relationships. So let’s clear up some of these misreadings:

Bisexuals cannot be in monogamous relationships

It’s very possible for bisexual people to be in happy, committed, monogamous relationships. Their sexuality helps them identify who to love; making a commitment is a choice that many bisexuals make daily, successfully.

Bisexual women are more likely to cheat

Cheating is a choice, and being bisexual doesn’t mean that a person is more likely to make it. There is no evidence that bisexual women cheat more that straight women do. It also does not mean that being with a bisexual woman will guarantee automatic threesomes.

Bisexuals are just confused gay people

Bisexuality is the romantic and/or sexual attraction to two genders. It’s clear and there is no confusion. Being able to love more than one gender doesn’t mean that it’s not possible to be in happy relationships.

There is no such thing as bisexual – you’re either gay or straight

Actually, that is not true. Bisexual individuals are able to be romantically involved in heterosexual and homosexual relationships and still be bisexual. All it means is that their current relationship is what works at the time.

Understanding sexuality can be confusing, especially when it seems that people are very different from the status quo – heterosexuality. Believe it or not, not everyone is straight and we live in a society where people are living their truth and expressing themselves more openly. It’s important that we start to have open conversations about sexuality in new relationships so it’s clear from the beginning what the situation is.

Happy dating!

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or tweet me @drsexyann or Facebook Dr Sexy Ann. Visit my website:

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